Posts tagged work
Posts tagged work
so much easier said than done.
i’ve been here for just over three months now, i think, and it’s safe to say this isn’t exactly what i imagined it would be like. instead of laying out on the beach, flipping my beautiful sun-drenched hair, playing with friends and not giving a shit about anything in the world, i find myself caring more than ever. caring about what people think, how i look, what i’ll be doing friday night…if i will be sitting on my couch writing again instead of out with the new friends i thought i would have. i know that these things will come in time, and that patience is not one of my strongest attributes…i’m not sure it’s one of my attributes at all…but i can’t help but feeling alone here…often.
i’ve made the mistake of putting all of my eggs in one basket…putting too much weight on things that maybe i shouldn’t…that maybe, don’t deserve it. it’s amazing to have something in your life that is a guaranteed high. something that you can always feel good about…but the problem with that is, what about when it’s not there? or what if it lets you down? what if it doesn’t make you feel like you are the greatest thing in the world…
::phone home…mom? are you there?::
the solution seems easy, right? get rid of it. unfortunately, like most things in this hamster wheel we call life, it’s complicated, and of course, it’s not easy. sometimes you find yourself running so hard and so fast that you really believe you are near reaching your goal…almost there…that wheel is finally going to break free of it’s constraints and you’re going to ride that thing off into the sunset….Victory! but fuck. what do hamsters know?
so why do we keep going back for more? why always trying just to fail repeatedly? why don’t we learn our lessons? well…part of this journey was to learn and to recognize when i’m walking a path that i have before…and either correcting it, or finding a new one.
time to get a life.
having the opportunity to dedicate yourself to one thing, something you are truly passionate about, is a gift. just make sure that whatever you dedicate yourself to is a worthy cause, and will reciprocate the passion you pour into it…otherwise you are just running in that wheel again, and never moving forward.
so my thought is…keep your options open. try a few things before you settle, and find the right fit…and always have an escape for when things go wrong. with great passion comes great results, but also great disappointment. friends can make it better…and having something to love can also make it better…just make sure your friends are true, and that your love is not one-sided, and you’ll be ok.
*i wrote this before going home for the holidays and never posted…things have turned around since then, but i can’t expect to always have that healthy overdose of family there to pick me back up when i fall…we’ll see…*
I wrote this a while ago and never shared it..I can’t really say it is because of the personal nature of it—everything I put up here is probably a little too personal. It was mostly because it is about a life I was trying too hard to leave behind…a life that I loved, but maybe wasn’t the best thing for me at the time…i don’t know. I had a good thinking day today, and I think I’m ready to speak.
So…here it is…a little insight on my experience in sneakers, social media, and the corporate world…and there’s lots more to say about it…and I’m sure I’ll get it out eventually…
I remember clearly someone telling me a while back that the one special thing about sneakers, aside from the obvious, was the way it brought people together. That a simple question like, “where’d you get those,” could start a conversation that could lead to a friendship. He was right.
I’ve had 5 years in sneakers, in the professional sense…although they have always been a part of my life, just not in the way that they are now. 5 years ago, a company took a chance on me, even after I confessed to owning just one pair of Chucks and some random shoe I used to “work out.” I was told “you’ll learn it,” and I did…better than I ever thought possible.
I found a community that was near invisible to the casual consumer…one made up of people of all kinds, from all over the world…unified by one common thread. At first I watched—listened—the forums, the blogs, Facebook, twitter…and what unfolded was an infrastructure of tech savvy, fashion conscious entrepreneurs and journalists disguised as opinionated, “my shit’s better than your shit” sneaker junkies. I had a world of untapped genius at my finger tips, and all I had to do was say “hi” and I was in.
I’m not going to pretend that it was really that easy. In a lot of respects it was—I was representing a huge company that people wanted to work with—but in others, not at all—I was representing a company, I was not an individual, i didn’t pay my dues to this community, and let’s face it…I was Big Brother in this space.
I did my research, found my allies, made some very trusted friends, and openly admitted that I knew nothing…something I don’t do often, and something that terrified me. Plain and simple truth…I knew nothing. I was taking a risk…but something I learned from this community was that they can spot a fake Jordan from a mile away and they sure as hell can spot a fake person over a phone call or an email.
Before I knew what was happening, I was in love…with the people…the shoes, the art, the music, the vibe…everything that made this community something outsiders refer to as a culture…a group of people that are governed by their own laws, have their own language, their own means of communication…part of society, but a society on it’s own…either you’re in or you’re out…and sure, if you’re out you can sit on the sidelines and watch, try to listen in, try to get it…and you might think you do…but you don’t.
Trust me. I thought i did…i still don’t.
Is anyone really ok with settling?
Is that something that comes with age? If so, at what age?
I don’t think I will ever be ok with anything less than my best…no matter how old or wise…and I’ve seen those less old and less wise than me, be content with settling. How does that even happen?
So by now, you most likely know that I’ve taken a tremendous leap of faith and hauled my ghetto booty across the country for some California love…and the job I’ve always dreamed of. But guess what? I’m the new guy again. I’m the freshman. And me and all my know-it-all arrogance and confidence and social media smarts don’t mean a thing until I prove myself…again. How long did it take me to do this the last time? Oh yeah…years…and still, even then…wow. I’m not even going to get into it.
My problem is, and maybe it’s a virgo thing, I expect too much of myself. My expectations are high, and I will beat myself down if I fail…and it’s even worse when I feel that someone else is judging my failures. I was once told that if you don’t fail sometimes, then you are not trying hard enough.
seriously? what the fuck!
My career is part of who I am, it’s part of how I define myself, and anything less than succeeding is settling. It seems trivial to many people. My passion and frustrations can be comical…especially to those who do not share my ridiculous work ethic…but I’m in a unique position here in that there isn’t much more to my life right now besides taking crap out of boxes, moving non-existent furniture around, watching TV on the treadmill, and work. Ugh. no wonder i’m always the first one in the office.
Part of the inspiration behind this move was the hope that the more laid-back west coast lifestyle would help calm my neuroses. Failed there too…but hey, it’s only been a month.
I can agree that failure is part of growth…but accepting failure is not a part of achieving success. We should review our pitfalls, try to best understand our shortcomings, play to our strengths and evaluate how to overcome our struggles. Settling is not an option…and failing is not part of my make up. Recognizing a downward spiral before it spins out of control is a success…a small one, but it’s one step closer to achieving your goal.
How could anyone be satisfied being less than their full potential?
And this extends beyond work ethic…that is just one aspect of my life I am harping on today. We should always try to be all we can in everything we do…otherwise, why bother doing it? Time is too precious to waste on half-assed, half-hearted poorly executed opportunities.
Give it your all…you have more to lose by not giving a shit.
And that’s my rant for today.
Do what you can and work on what you love. Whatever it is, do us all a favor and do the work you really love to do - do it for yourself and for everyone. You are society’s greatest asset. Dreamers and Doers, workers and visionaries: We need your contribution.
Powerful messaging on Monday morning.
You never realize how much something really means to you until it’s taken away. You can go your entire life just taking someone, something, for granted, just because it’s always been there…and then one day it’s gone.
I imagine that anyone reading this would think I am about to engage in a profound discussion about a certain someone that I am missing very much…and yes, this is true. I am missing someone very much…yes, it warrants much further discussion…but this is not about someone. This is about some-thing…a habit, a vice, my favorite means of escape, that was robbed from me today.
You might laugh, and some may agree that my actions are grossly inappropriate, but I have a tendency to sing while i work. I don’t even notice that I do it. When my creative side goes to work, I tune out the monochromatic lackluster office space around me and song escapes my lips and enters the world…and apparently it also enters the ears of the many people occupying surrounding cubicles.
I’ve always thought myself to be a decent singer…at times i would even go so far as to say, quite good—sending recorded ballads of love to my cross-country crush…however, it is quite possible that this is a delusion…
*breaks screech to a crashing halt*
…but mom always seemed to enjoy my voice.
I’m not sure that the quality of my song is really the issue, or if it’s the mere fact that the noise coming from my corner of the world is unwelcome…hard to believe with the amount of static I encounter in this space on an average day.
Music is a form of expression. It is meant to elicit emotions…a way to share an experience with many, a way to release, to feel…it is a part of everyone’s life, (i hope). It is not meant to be bottled and stoppered. It is meant to be experienced. Granted, my place of work may not be the best arena for my incantations, but if it helps me produce a better, more creative product, then why the insult?
So I now fill my ears with Beethoven, knowing full well that even at my greatest creative capacity, I will not be inclined to spontaneously concoct lyrics to sing along with Moonlight Sonata or Fur Elise.
My bad. I didn’t mean to offend…wait, does humming count?