Posts tagged mpardo916
Posts tagged mpardo916
i wonder if i could…
“You can only become truly accomplished at something you love. Don’t make money your goal. Instead, pursue the things you love doing, and then do them so well that people can’t take their eyes off you.”
~ Maya Angelou
I open the door and she rushes into the sun. It greets her smiling
face as if to say, “I’ve been waiting for you little one.”
She takes her place, positions herself just right so that she need not
squint and ruin her perfect speckled gaze. Beautiful.
We walk together at night, along a quiet street and I notice the
occasional car slow as people inside peer out just to smile at her. She
doesn’t even notice. Nobody looks at me that way, but I’m none the
less proud to be her escort.
She is graceful and delicate, and she loves me. I can tell. As we turn
in for the night she rests her head on my thigh. She let’s out a quiet
moan as I run my fingers through her hair. We doze off knowing
we will do it all again tomorrow.
She loves me. I know this. But she is his…she is not mine…but
maybe someday she will be.
Ten Years Later: A Tribute 9/11
My favorite 9/11 tribute in New York City can be found in Bryant Park. 2,819 empty chairs on the lawn facing the site where the World Trade Center once stood, one chair for every life lost. The number of empty chairs captures the enormity of the lives lost and the stark emptiness of it just drives home the point that I hope is never forgotten. 2,819 people were here one moment and gone the next. 2,819 went to work or boarded a plane one morning ten years ago thinking it would be another ordinary day and they never came home.
“seize the day,” she says. “live for the moment! you never know if this day could be your last.”
“tomorrow is another day,” he says. “i will put that on the list. we have plenty of time.”
How is this ever going to work? I don’t know…I have no idea, in fact, but somehow, it does. Just go with it.
We are all in search of happiness, but maybe part of finding that happiness more about finding a balance. An equal measure of perfection and total chaos, so that we can know how to appreciate the good…and recognize the happiness when we have it. You can’t really have the good without the bad, because then good would just be status quo…and if all you ever have is just the norm, then you will always be struggling to find better.
If you look for the balance, you will see it in each day of your life…the night to your day, the dark to your light, happy to your sad—We all have to sit in traffic to get to the beach (well most of us do) but when you finally get there, after 40 minutes of bumper-to-bumper, listening to Britney and Gaga on blast, it seems that much better and so much more worth the ride.
You will also see the same dichotomies if you review the span of your life from start-to-current and it will continue on in your future. Suffer through high school and have a blast in college. Share a tiny room with your sister for twenty years, move out and get a place in California. You reach a point where you feel like nothing is going right, and then one you finally find the pants that fit…even if you eat that cupcake…and even better…they match your socks.
It might not always be “me too!” (although a shared appreciation for icing, sofa cinema, foolish bets and other oddities will surely bring a smile). But when “me too” doesn’t happen…this does:
“i love to dance,” she says.
“i love to watch you,” he says.
“i love to write,” she says.
“i love to read you,” he says.
“i think i l**e you,” he says…
“how do you even pronounce that???” she says.
love this cupcake.
I have had to remind myself on multiple occasions that yes, this is real life. That this sky is mine, this beach is mine, those palm trees…those are mine…that creepy man jerking off on the grass, he’s mine (ew!), that rainbow we saw this weekend, this dead battery (oops), your beautiful hands, your eyes, your fantastic hair…all mine. this is my life…and it’s a dream.
I see you there, through my screen, and wonder why it takes you so long to write…just say something damn it! And then you do…you always do.+++perfect timing.
I was waiting for you.
Sometimes things have to fall apart to fall into place. It’s scary at first, but when you can see the pieces joining together to create a more beautiful image—one that the you of today can appreciate…one that the you of yesterday may have never imagined could be—the end result seems to make memories of pain and the struggle melt away. You stop wondering why, and how, and the word “no” suddenly no longer exists and you are left with an exciting world of “yes!” and “why not?”
I hate to think of how much time we have spent on opposite sides of this country…it seems that one of us is always going, and it’s usually me…but this time it’s different. It just feels different. I can’t really explain it. Maybe we’ve figured this puzzle out…maybe.
I’ve spent so much of my life trying to make things fit. Take the pieces I have been given and force them into places they don’t belong…and none of it made any sense until I traded those pieces in for a new set. Or rather, I left the pieces behind, and I ended up here…on this couch…with this cupcake…in this place…with this unfaltering smile…and your beautiful hands.
be weird together….i love that.
You might think by the picture above that I’m about to get very off topic…
Anyone who reads me would say that this blog is about love. If you really read me, you would know that it’s actually about relationships…both romantic and not. I’ve written about friends and family, about experiences I’ve shared with others, and experiences and emotions that I want to share with my readers…that is my relationship with you.
Today I have been thinking a lot about a relationship that actually does not belong to me…but one between someone very close to me and someone I have never met, but hope to someday.
We’ve all seen movies and read books about the bonds women form with their friends…emotional, lifelong friendships between two people that will be forever linked by experiences and milestones (and for any guys reading this, you know you have willingly or unwillingly bore witness to this kind of “entertainment.” Not asking you to admit you’re a fan of Lifetime tear-jerkers, but you know EXACTLY what I’m talking about). What we rarely see, outside of the recent Bromance genre, is this kind of emotional relationship between men…we don’t see it in media, but we all definitely see in in our everyday lives…in the lives of men we are close to.
Why has it taken us so long, as a culture, to be comfortable elevating these relationships? Some might argue that we always have…That great poets like Shakespeare and Twain and Whitman have always exploited love (platonic and not) between men, however their sexuality was always a factor in evaluating their work.
Ok, before I go off on a rant—and I could, I have many opinions on this topic—let me get back to the relationship that inspired the above babble. Have you ever had a friend you would do anything for? One that you would go any length to ensure their happiness? Someone you can depend on, that you want to be able to always depend on you in return? Outside of my sister, I’m not sure this kind of purity exists in any of my friendships, but I have seen it more frequently between the men in my life. These relationships are few and far between, and if you’re lucky enough to experience it, even if it is just from the sidelines, it is something to be cherished…If you’re really lucky, you will get to share in part of what is so amazing about it.
So dearest friend, which is what I hope to call you myself one day, know that through our shared relationship, you are in my heart today, and have been in my thoughts long before. You are in good hands…The best even.